Archive for the ‘Things My Beard Can Lift’ Category

My Final Challenge

April 12th, 2009 1 comment

The Beard received one final challenge on the night before its demise. It was a challenge so huge, so incredible, that I couldn’t resist it. A weight of epic proportions. And so, without further ado, I present my heaviest, cruellest weight ever:

Jen Tosti's PhD Dissertation

Jen Tosti's PhD Dissertation!

A fitting end to an incredible saga! Good luck, Jen! You’ll have to carry it the rest of the way!

Lift 7: A 50 Pound Boy!

March 27th, 2009 3 comments



I’m still in awe of Casey Cancilla’s bravery, the generosity of the last-minute donors (especially you, Anna Z.!), and the sheer number of people who showed up to witness the end of the weirdest 8 weeks of my life. Not only that, but people stuffed $236 dollars in my little collection can at Emmit’s Pub! Thank you Chicago, and thank you Andrew Huff and for making the finale an evening we’ll never forget!

Our video camera flipped out, so if you took any video on your phone or camera, please send it in! Thanks!

Lift 6: 2 20-lb Gyro Cones and Another Jar of Rocks… And our first FAIL!

March 20th, 2009 5 comments

YEE-OUCH! You knew this day might come: The Beard FAILED today’s lift! The bracket actually folded in half, tearing out a giant patch of beard in the process! OH NOES!

But did The Beard quit? No! I took a deep breath, shuffled the chains a bit, straightened out the bracket, cinched the winguts as tight as I could, and…


Thanks to the Greater Chicago Chapter of Friends of The Beard for coming out, Jackie and Brian from Metromix and Katelyn and Morgan for filming The Beard in its darkest and proudest hour, and Matthew from Wild Dogz for hosting this spectacular event! I’ll upload pics and video this weekend, but you’ll be able to gather the family ’round the glowbox to see the lift on Metromix next Thursday to witness the pain in the comfort of your own home!

One final note: I don’t think I have two more lifts in me, so if you were waiting for the golden moment to donate, NOW IS THE TIME! Let’s hit that $5,000 and put this baby to bed!

Lift 5: Industrial Mixing Bowl and Paddles!

March 13th, 2009 1 comment

Yikes! This one hurt: tonight I lifted at Baking for the Taking, official cupcake sponsor of The Beard. Marisa and Leslie pulled out a giant steel mixing bowl and 2 paddles weighing a total of 40 pounds for me, and The Beard was up to the challenge– for 5 seconds, anyway!

UPDATE: The painful video!

Can’t stand watching these anymore? Donate today so we can put this baby to bed!

The Beard on The Roe Conn Show!

March 12th, 2009 4 comments

roe-conn-showHey, radio-lovers! Thanks for listening to me on The Roe Conn Show! In case I totally blew the interview, here’s what I’m doing: I’m lifting heavy objects with my beard every Friday, and the more money we raise for Chicago’s Off the Street Club, the heavier that item will be! I’ve lifted toys, trophies, lead weights, and a mountain bike, and I won’t stop until we raise $5,000 for the kids of West Garfield Park! Want to help– or just see my beard and my face violently separated? Here’s how:

MAKE A DONATION: First and foremost, your tax-free donations to Chicago’s oldest boys and girls club is what this is all about. Any donation is appreciated, but the more you give, the more I’ll lift!

HAVE CUPCAKES DELIVERED TO YOUR HOME OR OFFICE: Baking for The Taking is a special friend of the beard and will deliver a dozen of them anywhere in Chicago for just $25– and they’ll donate $10 of that directly to Off the Street Club! It’s a delicious way to donate!

SEE IT LIVE: I’m going to lift at 40 POUND GYRO CONE at Wild Dogz Restaurant in Evanston at 1pm Friday, March 20th! Be there live for a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see something really, truly horrible happen when a man pits moustache versus meat in an incredible feat of strength!

TAKE A PICTURE: Finally, if you’re completely broke (and in this economy, who isn’t?), you can still help! Just download this beard, cut it out, put it on, and upload a picture to Facebook! I’m donating a dollar for every person who proves what his or her beard can lift to get the word out, and it won’t cost you a dime!

Thanks again to The Roe Conn Show for putting me on the air, and thank YOU for visiting!

UPDATE: Video of the lift!

Book Lovers Love Beards!

March 9th, 2009 No comments

I knew there was an affinity there, but apparently it’s a deep and abiding love! Chicago icon and co-founder of Featherproof Books Jonny Mess invited me to help celebrate the release of Patrick Somerville’s novel “The Cradle” with a special lift at The Book Cellar, and their incredible, literature-loving attendees donated an amazing $155 to see me lift a giant jar of rocks and a chair! Thanks so much, everybody! Some screenshots from the video:

Thanks again to Jonathan Messinger and Zach Dodson at Featherproof Books, Colleen O’Brien and Patrick Somerville for letting me share the stage, and all the good people at The Book Cellar for hosting the event!

Lift 4: A Gary Fisher Mountain Bike!

March 6th, 2009 2 comments

Ta da! Lift 4 was 31 pounds, and The Beard did not disappoint! I lifted a Gary Fisher Tarpon mountain bike, courtesy of Will Kelly, official Beard Wrangler. More pics and video later, but here’s a snap of the big lift in downtown Evanston!

This one hurt, but you can ease the pain by making a donation to Off the Street Club right now!

Special thanks to Will Kelly, Adam Perrone, and Kay Daly for helping set this one up!

The Beard in Time Out Chicago!

March 3rd, 2009 No comments
Cookin' up some charity!

Yes, that IS an Easy-Bake Oven

Hey, everyone! The Beard will make a special appearance this week in Time Out Chicago: here’s hoping some duct-tape wallets will show The Beard some love!

Special thanks to Christopher Piatt, Jake Malooley, and Michael Jarecki for the shoot!

Lift 3: Grand Prize Game Bucket Full of Stuff!

February 27th, 2009 15 comments

Wow! Lift 3 is in the can! For my 20-pound lift, Steve and the rest of the WGN stagehands went nuts finding random stuff for me to lift, all snug and secure in one of the world-famous “Bozo’s Grand Prize Game” buckets! The items included:

  • A can of shaving cream
  • A massive candle
  • A CPD-issue nightstick
  • Mickey Mouse gloves
  • A foam microphone
  • 24 ping-pong balls
  • A bottle of  fake vodka
  • Several tribbles
  • Flags from the United States, France, and Germany
  • and 2 5-pound stage weights to put us over the top

Best of all, some kids from Off the Street Club came out to lend a hand: OTSC’s current Boy and Girl of the Year, Dashawn, age 13, and Deasha, age 13; plus Davion, age 8 and Ashanti, age 8. I couldn’t have done it without them!

Here’s the piece that aired live, straight from the WGN Morning News website!

Good times! Thanks to Larry Potash, Paul Konrad, and Kathryn Janicek for getting us on the air! If you liked the segment, send them a thank you!

UPDATE: Some behind-the-scenes pics courtesy of Beard Wrangler Will Kelly.

First Cut of the Beardumentary!

February 25th, 2009 No comments

Here it is: the first cut of the Beardumentary by Katelyn Bogucki!

Wait, what? Beardumentary? Oh, yes. Katelyn contacted me the day I launched to ask if she could document the process, so she’s been there from the beginning, recording all the ridiculousness. Here’s her bio:

Katelyn is a senior at DePaul University, majoring in journalism and digital cinema. Throughout her course of study, she has documented a variety of interesting characters and has shared their stories through print and video.

She considers Eamon an interesting character and has enjoyed chronicling the beard lifts. After graduation, Katelyn hopes to find a job in media so that she can keep telling stories.

Katelyn would like to thank Morgan Gemeny for assisting her during the filming process.